Hold On

I'm still waiting for my L license and it seems to be FOREVER! haha.
My dad would bug me over & over again, "when can you drive?"
He is really tired fetching us around, I know.
And he is really getting tired of DRIVING.
He has to travel from Kepong to Penang or Negeri Sembilan all the time so we hardly see him :(

I always wanted him to stay home very very much.
To spend time with us.
Or just his presence in the house makes very much of a difference.
I miss you,daddy.
I miss those times we chat like we're best friends!
And sometimes I'm the only one in the house catches your silly jokes.
Your sincere smile lights my day.And I miss it.

This morning I woke up realizing it was not early anymore & no one else is in the house.
All I can hear is the dead silence that surrounds the room.
I'm not at all,motivated to get of my bed.
I did my quiet time & it was really dry as I go through the words & verses.

This has not been the first time but I'm still feeling troubled.
It has lasted for quite awhile.
what is going on,God? :(

I wish there's a friend that who truly cares.
Or truly understands.
Not only asking me how am doing lately but really cares & listens sincerely.
I need a mentor, or someone that's spiritually mature to talk to.


I know some things are not for me to know at a certain time but for now I don't have a clue of it.
I need You,very very much as I need to breathe.
I have come to realized how vulnerable I am without Your strength & guidance.
I fall very easily.
But I know You're always there to catch me :)

I trust in you.
Trust that no matter what is going on around, You have Your way & may Your will be done in my life.
I'm still learning & I know You love me very much.
Still,I'm waiting. For anything You wanna say to me.
Longing for YOU.

I will hold on! :)
Stay strong beatrice!

Everything is gonna be fine.OK?